I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
