watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
