no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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