when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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