dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
My butt remains clenched, sir.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
