that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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