what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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