I never want to see another naked old woman again.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
