My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
nutella sex= disaster
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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