I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
