it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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