I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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