1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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