Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
