I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
