your thong is hanging out like whoa
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
