I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
