My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
