some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My ass is underappreciated
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
