If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
