how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
