I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Randomize
