The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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