Kiss
Puke
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
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