Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
