what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
