so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
