the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
