We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
A bitchslap is in order.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
