I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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