i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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