grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I am one with the molecules
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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