all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Too much gin, very little bucket
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
