Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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