I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The power of my boobs compel you
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
