but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
