Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
