i was born a porn star she said
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
