If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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