it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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