So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Randomize
