So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
