Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
