Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
