sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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