meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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