I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Small penises have feelings too.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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