Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
