first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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