Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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